As I sit wading my way through the swamp of PRS & PPL registrations in this long dark tunnel juggling a multitude of tasks for currently close to nil income and the only true benefit my own satisfaction coupled with some hope and faith to keep me going because somehow one day all of this hard work and struggling will be seen to have been worthwhile, I have pondered on my situation and why I am here, why I am doing absolutely everything myself.
As a female music producer and artist with a marginal income who has spent the mostpart of the last few years with her head in books studying relevant qualifications rather than increasing her income in some dead end job, I have been living on a prayer, working on a shoe string, trying to build a dream and on a path less travelled, off road where there are no maps, eventually just a wilderness you have to keep travelling through. You can’t go back, there’s no point in doing that, you can’t stop because you are in the middle of knowhere, you just gotta keep going until you reach something or somewhere, a destination that you know is out there but it’s only by chance, perseverance and maybe luck that you will find it, yet still you cannot give up, because for now, life is this journey, life is given meaning by this process, it has become the foundation of your life born out of a deeper struggle to heal a soul that was broken.
The building of a dream gave life a purpose, I developed skills to utilize computers and the internet to build this dream the only way I knew how and it began to take shape. I began to tinker in making tunes around 2002. I studied multimedia 2002/04 and that gave me the skills to do basic web design, graphic and other media design and editing. I then used these skills to conceive the Vital Grooves brand as a platform for a Label Brand for my music, and building that into a small business, all the while still making tunes along the way to express the waves of emotions I was going through at the time working largely in solitude at the end of a node on the matrix.
Along this journey there have been a few people who have helped a little and taught me a few tricks but other than that supportive business partners have been hard to come by. I went through small business set up courses, but even these left me very much to wade through things on my own, many a time I felt like giving up over the past few years, it often felt like I was getting knowhere. Meanwhile I was watching male counterparts around me with similar skills and aspirations scratching each others backs, getting job offers and pay for their skills.
When you are not in a position to pay people for their work and you are a female relying on mostly male input/skills in the media industry, there is not a lot you can get without compromising your morals or getting into “When Harry Met Sally” type situations (..men and woman can never be friends because the sex thing always comes into it”) hence why I have had to do so much of what I do by myself to avoid uncomfortable situations. Hence why I have had to learn to do all that is involved in the production/recording, publishing, marketing, promoting, licencing, design etc. of all media that relates to myself and my baby, the Vital Grooves Net Label brand.
I have done this work to the best of my ability, on a shoe string, with equipment that is far from industry standard but having it’s ass kicked out of it to produce the highest possible standard of sound output I can manage, ever improving as time goes on. I am the machine that outputs everything there is to be found connected to DJitalEssence and Vital Grooves. I do not know truly where my journey is going, only that I am slowly making progress and ticking more tasks off my long TO-DO list. I am putting myself out there, I am evolving as an artist and a soul in this dynamic process of creativity that I live. It is part of me and I am part of it. What becomes of it remains to be seen…the output and the journey continues…new tangents are born and evolve…hopefully one day all my dreams will come true and I will get at least one of my potential happy endings…