As a self producing hard working artist trying to get a creative music enterprise off the ground, who works at the end of a node on this matrix building their dream, there are some days when it feels like a relentless struggle. The path is unknown, the territory is often lonely, the outcome in the hands of the powers that be.
The process everyday is to knock off more things from the long to-do list, then add some more, slowly building blocks onto the structure of the business side of things and at the same time create as many music products as possible, often as a need to express the journey you are on.
Much solitude and uncertainty of how well or not you are doing is found though you have 5,000 “friends” on Facebook and thousands of fans. You post your music, the next creation, the next piece of art you have spent hours getting as close to perfection as you can with the (far from industry standard) studio you have. You hope that this will be “liked” and “shared” by your friends. You are told you are an inspiration, people say you have talent and you will get “there”, to keep going, and so you do, despite now knowing how well you are or are not doing on the grand scale of things out there.
You are driven by this stage by a determination not felt before, a hunger to be recognised for all your efforts, failure or giving up is not an option and you will not stop and till you get “there”, that elusive place that has no location on a map, just a vague destination of some form of success that endorses your talents and qualifies them in some greater sense.
It is blind hope and blind faith that largely keep everything going, you are only aiming for your own self created vision of what you can see when you close your eyes…the journey continues…